tumblring to speak out!

well, I don’t know why he just came out to take my attention (again). It seems that he is fooling around again. simple greeting in Yahoo Messenger that said ”hei cantik“ that he said (or wrote) from the bottom of his heart.

I don’t believe it but I can’t deny that I am happy. However, I totally prepare myself to be disappointed again. maybe it just boys. In addition, I still see him not as a boyfriend material. He is kinda busy with his daily life.

I have no idea what God’s plan is by tickling this romance side of mine. maybe He just want me to have my life colored by thinking about it (or something else).

One thing for sure, I don’t want to be hurt again. It is enough having bad experiences in my past relationships.

I will stay strong until I think he deserves me.

If you follow my twitter account, you can discover myself is crazy about this series in the past 3 weeks. yes, Sherlock, a BBC crime drama brought by brilliant British.

I have known this series since 2010, around September or October. Lucky me, who get suggested by a friend of mine (I forget who he is) this brilliant series. At the first sight, I wasn’t impressed enough by the poster. The left is Sherlock Holmes with that skinny body and weird hair, and another one is not-very-convincing John Watson.

Well, damn! Don’t-judge-a-book-by-its-cover has slapped me!

The episode 1 of Series 1, A Study In Pink has blown me away! I love the cinematography, I love the music scoring, and I love Benedict Cumberbatch. I’ve never read this masterpiece written by Sir Canon Doyle, but I knew that Benedict has precisely cast Sherlock Holmes. Perfect! I fall for this series instantly. 

It is followed by The Blind Banker, which is get the lowest score from me (but still interesting), and The Great Game, which kills all of the fans by the unfinished ending between Holmes and Moriarty. We waited more than one year to know how the battle goes in that swimming pool.

And there is the Series 2! And it is much more better than the Series 1.

A Scandal In Belgravia has answered my curiosity due to the ending of The Great Game. Irene Adler shows up here. A lot of twist and confusion (I really have to discuss the episode with my friends and watch it over and over again). Don’t worry about the confusion, you’ll be hypnotized with its plot and the ending -for me- is kinda romantic. Oh, don’t forget about the password, mind blowing! Good job for the writers, this episode cures the fans’ longing.

The Hounds of Baskerville. It has difference feel due to case’s location. It is kinda horror story. Thanks to the scoring and cinematography, this episode is beautifully packed. The Hounds of Baskerville has succeed freaking me out with some breath-taking scenes. Geez!

And the last episode of Series 2, The Reichenbach Fall. Although we all know that Sherlock Holmes is dead, I always want to know how Mark Gatiss pack the story. Well done! I can’t get it out of my sight. Moriarty become the star. The game Moriarty created makes me feel nuts! Andrew Scott has created such an evil character with his good-looking face.

The things I like form this series:

1. Sherlock is seen more humanized. From the first second he met Irene Adler, something has changed. Based on John’s blog, Sherlock reveals his weak side (frustrated when Irene is dead, making mistake about drugged sugar, forcing Henry to see the real dog). I love the scene when Sherlock calls John for the last time. He really love those people, John, Lestrade, and Mrs Hudson.
2. Every episode has its own appeal! I can’t find it in Series 1 because I only put A Study In Pink and The Great Game as my favorite. A Scandal In Belgravia, we have Irene Adler as the spot. The Hounds of Baskerville, the horror side is brought perfectly, and The Reichenbach Fall? An epic-crazy-game and a heart-touching ending!
3. John Watson. I finally understand why Martin Freeman has been chosen. John’s sadness while consulting his therapist played perfectly because i feel sad, too. I feel that “weird” friendship between them.

Again, thumbs up for the writers! You are all crazy! You all did a great job! Thank you for bringing Sherlock Holmes to the modern London. I will read the original ones, thanks to you!

Can’t wait for the third series. I don’t know when it will be aired but i hope it won’t be too long. :)

ini adalah YM yang gue terima tadi siang, hahaha. i don’t know he mean it or not. tapi sapaan “hai cantik” membuat aku sedikit merenung.

dari kecil, apresiasi kecantikan kebanyakan didapat mama. namanya juga ibu ya, pasti muji anaknya lah, hehehe. tapi mau keadaan di rumah kayak apa, tetap lingkungan memegang pengaruh penting pada self esteem seseorang.

contoh: gue.

saat SMP, well, i think it was the nastiest “society” i’ve ever had. keliatan banget mana anak gaul ama gak. seragam adalah hal yang paling keliatan. baju kecil, rok hipster, dan punya pacar ganti-ganti, itu gaul. gue? hahaha, baju longgar, rok, dengan kaos kaki panjang sebetis. kalo ditilik dari sekarang, SMP adalah titik terendah gue dalam masalah self esteem. i feel invisible.

sorry, junior high school is not the most beautiful period for me.

beruntung gue masuk SMA yang menurut gue “logis”. aura pergaulannya amat jauh berbeda dibanding yang gue rasain pas SMP dulu. alhamdulillah, teman-teman yang gue punya sekarang kebanyakan berakar dari SMA.

saat SMA, gue belajar bahwa orang dilihat bukan dari penampilan fisik, tapi dari performance dan karakter. gue gak lagi mikirin muka gue harus cantik atau gak setiap harinya. i don’t even care about having a boyfriend for existence sake! yang gue pikirin adalah gimana caranya gue perform yang terbaik buat sekeliling gue.

gue merasa self esteem gue naik sejak itu.

saat kuliah pun, gue masih sama. still have the same thought, the same act, the same behaviour. gue enjoy aja nanggepin hari-hari sampe gue lulus, sampai sekarang. dan tiba-tiba, YM itu dateng.

regardless of his intention sending that message, that greeting makes me wonder, “am i really have that high self esteem?”

gue baru sadar sejak SMA gue gak pernah mikirin apa hari ini gue cantik apa gak. yang gue tahu, gue harus pake baju yang appropriate (celana dan baju harus match secara warna, oh ya, plus nyaman). dan tiba-tiba ada yang nyapa gue dengan sapaan hai cantik.

dan gue ngeraguin diri gue cantik.

jadi inget kalimat salah satu selebriti Indonesia, “semua perempuan itu cantik”. i do agree with her. everybody has their shining spot. bisa dari skill dan otak. however, apapun itu, kalo gak ditunjukkan dengan appearance yang mengundang, buat apa? well, self esteem itu gak cuman secara fisik, tapi juga mental. 

so, we can’t be beautiful if we don’t think that way. well, i have to figure the way out so i can be a spotlight in my way.

good luck for you, too!