May God hugs you with His warm arm so you shouldn’t anxious anymore. May God gives you His love so you can heal form the pain. May God bless you always day after day. May God heals your heart so you shouldn’t angry anymore.
Pernahkah kita sadar, “Hati-hati..” adalah harapan agar kita dapat bertemu lagi, “Jangan lupa makan..” adalah doa demi kesehatan, agar kita dapat selalu bersapaan, “Met tidur..” adalah keinginan untuk menjadi manusia yang terakhir berada dalam ingatan ketika mata mulai terpejam.
Banyak yang tersirat dari kalimat-kalimat sederhana yang kadang dianggap rutinitas. Pun bagi mereka yang mencibir, mereka hanya belum paham bahwa afeksi kadang tidak mengenal definisi harfiah..
“Makan, bangun, dan hati-hati sebetulnya adalah hal-hal yang tanpa perlu diingatkan pun akan dilakukan. Tentu ada hal lain yang ingin disampaikan ketika akhirnya tiga hal itu yang terucapkan.”—(via sayaurum)
This three words is commonly said by couples. For me, when there’s someone who romantically said, “I miss you”, it is a kind of legalization that we are matter for him.
I found that sometimes this phrase is kinda… sensitive.
How many times you say that to your lover? If you said that a few times, maybe your lover will ask, “do you miss me all this time? I never heard you say that to me for a long time.” If you said too much, maybe this will come out, “what the hell? i just met you an hour ago.” And then you can argue about who love who the most.
On the other side, like i said on my twitter account earlier. “Sometimes, saying I miss you makes me feel sadder that before.” It is true. It happened to me once. I remember I put blanket all over my body with a melancholic mood, thinking about how much I miss him.
Sometimes, I am scared to let him know. If I send my “I miss you” so many times, he will think that maybe I am not the kind of woman who can’t be left or I can’t be independent etc etc. Or my another concern is that the acknowledgement will make him sad.
Well, missing someone is a good thing. I never forget how relieved I am, after exhausting days, finally I met him. The best thing is seeing him smiling too when he knew I was coming. It just felt… beautiful.
There will be some difficult times or circumstances, make us to be not as fun as usual. That’s what God tries to say through the color of black and white.
I feel I really awful facing this “bad” dynamic with another person, for example: conflict or misunderstanding. I mean, I really worry that everything will not turn well in the end. What if, what if, what if…. Assumption is just killing me all the time.
"You shouldn’t think too much", he said once.
Well, I feel the first dynamic in this “friendship”. Honestly, I freaked out. Wondering how we can get through this dynamic. I realize (specifically) that when it comes to someone I care about, I always try too hard to be perfect in front of him, so I can ensure myself I will always have him.
"Love doesn’t work that way, honey", said my best friend.
It is my time to learn how to solve this insecurity issue, because as I am getting older, I know I can’t keep myself this way forever.
Because loving is about compromising and accepting whatever I am and whatever he is.
I can say, for the last 3 years, I have an issue toward relationship. Since I had some bad experiences about it, I thought that romantic relationship is something hard to have and maintain. I imagined it will be exhausting to have a man at your side.
I still have no idea about this man, but he gave me a hint. He gave me hope that there’s a man who will struggle so hard to adjust and compromise together with me. He gave me the possibility having a beautiful romantic relationship. He also gave me a clue that two people can get through anything ahead.
“The (500) Days of Summer attitude of “He wants you so bad” seems attractive to some women and men, especially younger ones, but I would encourage anyone who has a crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is. He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he projects all these fantasies. He thinks she’ll give his life meaning because he doesn’t care about much else going on in his life. A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person.”—Joseph Gordon-Levitt (via theflowershop)
There’s an interesting thing I want to share about. It is about rumor. Specifically. rumor about a person.
Sometimes, we hear things about a person and we judge him/her instantly without any chance to experience it. We condemn him/her and we just afraid for no reason. And we have no idea whether it is true.
It was happened to me when my thesis’s adviser suggested “him” to be my thesis’s examiner. I was so freaked out! The rumors about him are really negative. Some people say that he will give me “trouble”. Can you imagine how scared I am? In addition, the rumors describe him as a really “stiffed” person. Many disturbing stories about him I have heard.
But, when I met him, it is all changed. He is not that bad. Otherwise, he gave me a really constructive suggestion about my thesis. All my worries are just disappeared. I become feel so bad I have condemned him earlier. Well, maybe yes he is different. But every person has a good side. We shouldn’t forget that.
So, from now, I will try so hard not to take the rumor as the base of my condemnation. It’s difficult, especially in this country. When people is easily condemned by his/her race, ethnic, and social status. Don’t let those rumors misguide you. If that so, you should face that person by yourself and let the reality shows the truth.
Well, there is a lot of changes since I was graduated. One aspect that turns 180 degrees is about my grooming.
It is about the lipstick. It is started when I accompanied my mom went to beauty class held by her friend. We learned about putting foundation, powder, eye shadow, blush on, etc. That time, it is said that when you have less time to get ready, just put lipstick and voila! Ready to go.
I tried pay more attention to this make up item. Since I just had one lipstick (birthday gift from a girlfriend) that rarely used, I am started to think. Maybe I should explore the colors that possible.
Damn! I really enjoy this! Now, I have 4 different lipstick with different color tones. One of them is so red for special occasion.
I can’t believe I will say this, but now, I can’t leave hone without wearing it. My God!
But it’s really true, you can look how pale your face without it. So that’s why I enjoy wearing it. Hahaha
(I don’t know how many men who has been written on my posts)
But I can say, I really fall for this guy.
He is a different guy. I mean, I never imagine I will be attracted to someone like him. I started to crush on him earlier this year and I NEVER -even a single time- hoping he makes some moves on me. EVER.
I kinda trapped now.
I have no idea what his intention is. I don’t know whether he just see me as his friend. It was funny when he messaged me with cute emoticons (red heart thingy!). It was weird when he said he missed me at night and then he took it back by saying it was just a joke.
All I do now is checking at my phone to see if there’s a message from him or not.